Cinematic Point Of View

Man, I am missing Fallout. I was thinking about it this morning. Why do I like it so much. Perhaps its all the hypocrisy on display? And the humanity.

The characters are all so human and flawed, but they carry on. And they grow. Cooper Howard’s character especially resonates with me. My whole life, I’ve been the “funny guy.” Always with a funny line or observation. Recently though, I’ve grown really tired of being that guy. It’s like a reflex for me. It’s a lifelong defense mechanism.

Last couple of years, I’ve realized how much of a drain on me it is. The years of reacting this way have caught up. I’m tired. So why not change? There’s a catch. If you stop behaving the way people expect, then people think there is something wrong. Not looking for more attention.

Can’t I just be quiet and boring? I think Zoom has made this worse. How fake we all are. Rome is burning. Put on a happy face. It’s all about avoiding real feelings. Anger. Sadness. Fear. I’m not saying I want to walk around crying and complaining, but what if I just didn’t try to act happy?

It’s such a simple thing. This life long behavior is part of a reflex to calm my own fears that people won’t like me and getting a laugh gives me value and makes me think, “Okay I won’t be verbally attacked here or thought worthless.”

Getting back to Fallout, I think that’s why I like Cooper Howard so much. He made a living acting in a way he didn’t feel all the time. I reckon a lot of people do. Now that he’s a ghoul, he’s free to just be how he feels. Angry. Sad. Selfish. He lost everything and found himself. And he’s still got good in him too. Just not the people pleasing kind.

Anyway, that’s maybe too much information, but what else is a blog for but too much information? Fallout is a show full of people waking up. I miss that. Can’t wait for season 3.

Thanks for reading.