Cinematic Point Of View

Have you ever been stuck in a routine? Do you wish you could do something different? Make different choices, but something holds you back. Fear. Insecurity. Low self-esteem.

It’s these feelings that lie at the heart of the 2023 film Sometimes I Think About Dying, starring Daisy Ridley, Dave Merheje, and Parvesh Cheena.

Directed by Rachel Lambert, this movie tells the story of a quiet, mouse-ish office worker named Fran (Daisy Ridley). She dresses plainly and keeps her head down. Makes very little eye contact and speaks as little as possible. Much of the film is watching Fran as she goes about her minimal day, listening to offscreen conversations. Small talk. People are trying to connect, get along, or mess with each other. In between these moments, Fran gets lost in thoughts about dying in different, quiet ways.

This is her routine. Her life. Until one day, someone new starts at the company.

I love every single thing about this movie. Everything hinges on the performances, and they all hit it out of the park, from the leads to the supporting players in the film. A lot of it feels like improv, but the very best kind of mundane real-life conversation is improv, where every sentence reveals so much character.

Daisy Ridley just kills it. A gentle, subtle performance was mostly conveyed with her eyes and posture. I love that she is getting to shine in little works like this.

I love and relate to how Fran is always in the middle of so many other people, just hearing their conversations but not really getting involved. Some people hate small talk. I feel that way most days. Small talk is like baby steps to connection, though. It’s those little moments that bridge the gap to bigger conversations. Starter fuel. It’s what Fran needs, so she stands near the fire but never really steps into it. Instead, she retreats into her head of fears and what-ifs. All these bizarre dying scenarios mask metaphors for fears of embarrassment, low self-esteem, past trauma, etc.

There is a larger conversation about mental health here. How we go about our lives as adults. The false faces we spend most of our days and lives wearing. The horror of meeting someone new and revealing our insecurities.

The music by Dabney Morris is a perfect cushion for every single interaction and situation. It’s beautiful and playful. Like thoughts popping in and out of our minds.

The cinematography is soft and earthy. It makes even the most ordinary or mundane things seem interesting and beautiful. The office set is perfection. It feels like somewhere I’ve worked many times. Generic. Cramped. Outdated.

The film takes place in Astoria. I can’t recall if they mention it by name. Being by the sea, it has that touristy feel, which conveys a sort of transitional atmosphere. Lots of people visit but pass right through. There’s also that aspect of how, when you live in a town like this, you sometimes get so caught up in your daily existence that you can’t see all that surrounds you. At some point, you just take it for granted.

It all sounds a bit depressing, but as the story unfolded, I felt a sense of rising hope. I could very much relate to these people and the situations. I was rooting for Fran and all the characters to really just enjoy themselves and be happy.

This is just a great,  quiet little movie. If you’ve ever felt depressed, lonely, or lost, I think you’ll appreciate this one. It’s not about answers, though. It’s about the journey toward hope.

I will definitely watch it again; in fact, I might just go ahead and watch it again this week. I want to pay closer attention to all the little details I know are there that I missed the first time around.

I look forward to seeing what this director does next!